I Curse You With Joy

July 1, 2024
In her long-awaited second book, the award-winning comedian chronicles the personal challenges that have made her "more alive, more human, and...more interesting." As Haddish, author of The Last Black Unicorn, recounts, her Eritrean-born father left the family when she was 4. Several years later, her mother, diagnosed with head injury-induced schizophrenia, began beating her out of frustration. In foster care by age 13, Haddish eventually became the "cute homeless" girl who lived in her car. Yet she still managed to find unexpected (and sometimes wildly surreal) comedy in almost everything. For example, she recalls how her Jehovah's Witness mother would tell stories about "enzymes" boys carried that would "eat your face up" after kissing, which Haddish innocently repeated to more sex-savvy friends. When her father suddenly reappeared in her life, the author remembers how she celebrated their tender moment of telephone reconnection by crying into "some marijuana plants I had growing on my kitchen windowsill." A recurring topic throughout the book is sexuality, which Haddish discusses in refreshingly unfettered ways. When, for example, she started taking Paxil (an antidepressant) in her 20s, she experienced severe vaginal chafing. With the trademark outrageousness that met with rejection from establishment comedy shows like Saturday Night Live, she remarks, "Do you know how hard it is to walk fast when your coochie is dry?" Nothing is sacred nor forbidden as she jokes about the joys of "riding that D" with fat men and her grandmother's advice to keep a man: "You gonna have to kiss that banana every day." Featuring liberal use of slang and profanity, Haddish's book showcases not only her ability to transform the "shit" of tragedy into the "fertilizer" that "makes you grow," but also her relentless, utterly courageous pursuit of joy. A frank, fierce, and heartfelt memoir.

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Starred review from June 14, 2024

Actress and comedian Haddish offers an uproarious, raunchy, and uplifting second memoir (after The Last Black Unicorn), in which her stated goal is to turn her own personal pain into laughs. Episodic in approach, the book jumps from Haddish's tumultuous childhood as the daughter of a mother with mental illness and an absentee father, to her adult success as a stand-up comic and actor. Throughout this book, she discusses her experiences with illiteracy, fractured relationships, and being unhoused. She also describes how she has sustained her career in comedy. The highlight of this memoir is Haddish's recollections of her rekindled relationship with her Eritrean-born father; she portrays him as a flawed but loving man who never doubted her talent and humanity. She also showcases her career highlights, including her breakout role in Girls Trip and becoming the first Black woman stand-up comedian to host Saturday Night Live. VERDICT This memoir is not about Hollywood or gossip; it's about being human and embracing grace and empathy toward family and self. Haddish makes room for jokes about sex and bodily functions and provides plenty of laughs and heart in this ribald, raw, and candid memoir.--Leah K. Huey

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